Use the Covid 19 lockdown time to improve your relationships and your emotional wellbeing.
Practicing the Focussed Mindfulness Method TM during the lockdown will give you some valuable insights into your behaviour, your challenges and your triggers when it comes to your relationships. The Method not only reveals your sabotaging patterns but also gives you the tools to let them go and find a more constructive way to be. You can see these extraordinary times as a wonderful opportunity to work on yourself and your relationship and so use social isolation to your benefit!
Are you getting antsy because you have too much time on your hands?
Do you find the lack of control over events is making you anxious?
Is the enforced quiet and stillness bringing up unpleasant thoughts and emotions?
Are you finding your partner increasingly irritating?
Are you over-indulging out of boredom?
If the answer to any of these is a resounding YES! Then you can use this trigger to access and deal with the issue at its root. By exploring and dealing with this you will be free to be more mindful, supportive of yourself and communicate more constructively with your lock-down pals!
Focussed Mindfulness Reflective Exercise
Find pen, a pad of paper and a quiet corner, set a timer for 10 or 20 minutes and start to write about your trigger.
Reflect on the question and ask yourself how you are reacting to it. Notice how your body feels as you explore the discomfort of the situation and begin to unpick it.
Describe the feeling. Really sit with it and turn your attention to it. What is the sensation in the body? What are you trying to avoid by being busy, by indulging, by getting irritated, by getting anxious?
What if, instead of avoiding you sat here and explored it? What is at the root of it? Is there a memory or a discomfort or even a trauma that you are trying to avoid?
Write it out. You do not have to worry about writing complete sentences, your spelling or even if you can read it back. This is not the point. Writing allows you to access the deeper stuff.
Do not move.
Stay with it.
And keep writing.
At the end of the time tear out the pages you have written and destroy them.
Finding a more mindful perspective
Now think about someone you know whom you admire and trust and you believe to be wise and to have your best interests at heart (if you can’t think of anyone real, imagine a person, fictional character or mentor who has these qualities).
Imagine that they have read what you have written.
What would their advice be? What is their wise, mindful perspective on your issue?
Write this out as a letter to yourself.
Might they say you did your best, you are enough and put the past behind you? That other people all have their own inner struggles and this affects how they respond to you? What else might they say?
Now quickly list 10 things in your life that you are grateful for.
Repeat this exercise for as often as you find it helpful. Many people do it as a daily practice.
Get some Focussed MIndfulness Guidance
If you find you cannot find a mindful perspective on your issue but are writing the same stuff day after day it might be time to get some help. You can access many services online, including practitioner who work with the Focussed Mindfulness method.
Now might be time for you to drop your old habits and defensive behaviour and find the freedom to live more constructively, more kindly and more fully in the present.